I want to scream at the top of my lungs...
So I got more presents from the 'rents today. A total of six presents: 5 from my mom and dad and one from my grandparents. I am definitely not feeling the love from my sister who I practically fully supported this past summer (I know Nailz is nodding her head vigorously at this point). I know Christmas shouldn't be all about the gifts, but something to show at least a little appreciation would be nice--though I know she doesn't even think of it that way. She thinks that she "saved" ME from being homeless while I got a job and apartment. Does she even remember that I paid the full months rent when I was staying there and even then, spent every night I possibly could at Nailz's place? Of course not, she was too loaded.
So, I'm a little upset at the lack of communication, let alone gifts from certain members of my family. I know I'm just
rolling in the dough over here *rolls eyes sarcastically*, but Christ! I know that people would give me weird looks for not sending gifts from Germany and here. So I've done my duty--I've struggled to find gifts that they would like, even though the selection here is pretty shitty--and here I sit...
Yeah--so that's my rant. I guess a lot of the time I feel like people think of me and think that I'm having this great adventure. If the Land of No Freedom equals Adventure, then I guess I'm delusional and I really am having a grand ol' time...
I'm here at work today. It doesn't feel like Christmas. I guess I'm ok with that. *not really* We have at least 8 inches of fresh snow here, so it is at least really pretty out. I don't want to call my family. I don't really want to call my friends either. It just makes it harder--like a reminder that THIS is not a normal Christmas, as much as I pretend it is. I guess I wish I could just shed everything that exists outside of my everyday life, and only see what is right in front of me. It's not because I don't love or miss all the other stuff, it's that it really hurts to think about what I am missing.