Another sleepless night.
Yes, another sleepless night, because of the damn cat. I finally gave up trying to actually sleep in my bed at 5:45 and came out the the living room. I took a nap for a while. I feel exhausted. All night that cat bothered me. There was one point where he pounced on my face because he wanted to play, but just ended up with his paws in my eyeballs. Ever had kitty paw pads on your eyelids? It is strange, but it is annoying that that creature was pouncing on me at 4 in the morning. I hope that after Yuki is neutered, then we can just leave both bedroom doors open at night and maybe the cat will play out in the living room instead of keeping me up and using me as a play thing. Which reminds me...
So Yuki and Oro finally met yesterday. The first time the cat was really annoyed and kept hissing, spitting and growling at Yuki whenever he came near, but by the second visit, Oro was getting kind of used to him. Yuki was so good at keeping his distance and letting the cat get used to him, but then the last couple times we let Oro out of my room, Yuki kept trying to mount Oro and was trying foreplay (aka licking Oro's ears off). I think we have gay pets, but know that they both just need to be neutered. Yuki will be snipped by this time next week and then in a few months, Oro will be old enough for him to be snipped too. Yay for neutered males! *realizes sounds strange and looks around sheepishly*
I had a sad and weird dream last night. I had a dream that I had been pregnant and not even known it until I miscarried. It was strange because the ambulance came and took the baby away to the hospital and left me in the dust. I made it to the hospital and asked if my baby was there and they said yes. At this point I didn't get it that the baby had died, so when the front desk staff told me that the baby was dead I urgently wanted to know if it had been a boy or girl. It had been a boy. I started crying because even though I hadn't known I was pregnant, it was still this huge shock to have lost a child. They said that I had an exam that I needed to have done on me and to wait for a half-hour, so I went outside to bum smokes off of people. I went back inside and followed the nurse through a hospital ward where everyone was sleeping (I had had the baby in the middle of the night), and I remember feeling this distinct feeling of guilt for mourning over something that never really lived when these people were probably really sick and would have to leave this world having lived so little (after all they sometimes say that a taste of something you can't have is worse than none at all). The nurse dropped me off at a wrinkled and obviously previously used hospital bed. I stood around waiting for someone to come change the sheets before I sat down, so I was looking at this bulletin board with pictures on it above a little bed. There was a little girl sleeping in the little bed (it was more like a huge crib) and she woke up. I whispered that she should go back to sleep, but she told me that she had never been sleeping in the first place, so then I didn't feel so bad. We talked in whisper voices about all sorts of stuff and she was really wise and seemed to have an old-soul. She comforted me about the child I had lost. After I got released from the hospital, I went back home, but I didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. I was sort of ashamed, as if it was some how my fault that the baby miscarried. It was strange. Laughable in some ways, but I was so sad in the dream and my heart feels heavy now still.