time, time, time. see what's become of me as I looked around for my possibilities
I was so hard to please.
SO...*big sigh* I have an issue with my new job. I know that I should just be happy to have a job - and I am. But I am concerned. The people I work with are really nosy. They're always asking me about myself and my future plans. Normally I wouldn't care, but today I heard some of the ladies talking behind my back. Saying, "why did she get hired if she's just going to go to Japan in 3 years?" "Is she going to quit in the fall when she goes back to school?" Just the tone of voice made me really re-think working there. I mean, I won't quit unless I get another job, but it's definitely motivation to keep looking. I've only been there 4 days and they're already talking behind my back. Jeezus! Plus, I wouldn't stay at a job like that for long. I don't want to be a data entry specialist when I grow up. The pay is decent and so are most of the hours, but if I find a better job, there's nothing that will keep me there. I feel kind of guilty about my thoughts, but mostly, I'm really leary and kinda pissed off.
Confession of the Day
I spent more money today. Money that I have (at the moment), but should really be saving for a rainy day. Seems like every time I leave my apartment, money just flows through my fingers like water. I'm an impulse buyer, but not a compulsive one. Meaning, I will buy one or two inexpensive things on my way through Target to get something I need. Is that bad?
So I guess I'm feeling kind of down and emotionally exhausted. I am also feeling lonely for some reason. I guess sometimes I think about Dave and how much I really used to love him and think that having a broken heart is better than having a lonely one. I know it's not, but sometimes I feel so desolate because there is no one in this world that I am in love with (can't count myself *small snicker*). Being in love is a good feeling...
Anywho - I've decided to spend the $70/mo for Zyban to quit smoking again. I've had enough again. Hopefully, this time, if I can stay on the Zyban for as long as recommended, I can quit for good. *crosses fingers* Did you know that statistically, it takes an average of 10 tries before a smoker actually quits smoking? I hope I don't have to go to 10. *cries*