but my god it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, wanna hold him, maybe i'll just sing about it
I had meant to blog yesterday, but then became preoccupied. I have had a shitty week. I mean
really shitty. I ran into two large obstacles in my plans to go back to school. The first one didn't stop me. It was the second one that did me in. I was this close *holds up index finger and thumb up* to saying 'fuck it' and not pursuing my degree. But alas, an English degree is a crucial part of my world-domination plan. *sigh* So I guess I'll just have to do it.
Good news--I was offered the permanent position at my job. Though I'm not in love with the job, it is definitely better than nothing and job security is kinda nice (is there such a thing these days?). In other news, I have managed to completely fuck up (yet another) relationship with a man. I am really horrible and am seriously considering becoming a lesbian--if only in name. (Note to Nailz: no, this does not mean I will start making moves on you--EWWWWww! Cooties! *runs away screaming*)
I have thought of many things to blog about the past couple of days, ranging from my first gray (well, silver in my case) hair, to the interesting stories from the tsunami, to the discovery of different methods of sitting on the toilet. Of course the last, and most crude thing, is what I wish to blog about now. Throughout today at work, I discovered there is more than one way to sit on a toilet seat. Yes, it's true, I tend to focus on not only the crude, but also the most mundane, of every day tasks. There are different kinds of people when it comes to toilet-sitting. There is the hoverer who never really sits on the toilet at all and therefore sprinkles all over it (a despised, though familiar enemy). There is the forward-sitter (that's me) who sits very forward on the seat, covering only perhaps half or even a third of the front part of the seat. I suspect most of these people are short (like myself). Being short necessitates this kind of posture because otherwise our feet don't touch the floor, resulting in the digging in of the seat into our lower thighs--a most painful situation. There are the full-sitters. These are people who are taller and have longer legs. These are the people who experience the most comfort and ease while having a good think. There are the one-side-leaners who only sit on one side of the toilet and keep their other thigh clear of the seat. This is a very interesting position as it sometimes results in the half-sprinkle. There is also the half-squatter-leaner. This is tricky, because while technically they are touching the seat, it's still basically a squat position. This position is for the tired or sore hoverer--just enough support to help, but not making contact with the germy part of the seat. Then, as Nailz conspired (yes, we had a full-blown, in-depth discussion of these techniques), there is the full-recliner. This is the person who not only sits on the whole seat, but also leans back and relaxes as if in a reclining chair (hence the name). I believe these people to be deeply psychologically ill and in need of mental help. (Sick bastards...)
So that is my abridged version of the full essay I have written. If you'd like the full, 20-page analysis, just let me know and I will be happy to forward you a copy. *proud grin*
I know that I'm a sick fuck. You don't have to tell me. *even bigger grin* So. I thought I'd post some links with a little bit of commentary, since they always amuse me. Ha!
I find this to be interesting. I don't know how I would side either, but maybe kids (in general) should listen to
what this man has to say.
Though I assume many of you are too savvy to get "hooked" by one of these scams, I thought it was
good information nonetheless.
This comes from a discovery Nailz made today. Click on the
second video down. I think someone just
maybe doesn't like Bush all that much. Very strong statement. WARNING: If you are a Bush supporter, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT go to this site. Must be
very liberal to visit and enjoy.
If you'd like to read Dave Barry's
last humor column, you will have to sign up for a free
Miami Herald subscription, but it is worth it. This is funny, but kinda melancholy, too. P.S. Thanks to
Book Kitten for the link and heads up.
Well, kids--that's all for today! Hope you have found something sick and twisted to delight in! Bwahahahaaa!