i know this feeling...it's my resolve about to break.
*very heavy sigh* If you all would like to know how I am feeling today, you should check out Martin Zellar & the Hardways' song "Time and Time Again". The quote above is from that song. It is very expressive of how I feel. I am in wretched spirits and feel a general lack of confidence in anything I do.
I had new employee orientation today. It was my first permanent day at my new job (which I actually started working at in November). I am officially on salary as of today. There is more training tomorrow, but it only goes to noon. I may see if I can take the rest of the day off of work, rather than returning to the office to a desk sure to be piled high, a voicemail box that is near full and an email inbox full of more work on top of all that. Doesn't getting caught up sound more like a Wednesday thing to do? *is desperate to not go back to work tomorrow* The training was fairly boring. Benefits information (yay!), team building exercises (blah) and harassment policies (no, not in how to....*feels sad*).
To add to the weirdness of the day (as if it being Monday and a training day weren't enough), I had my first senior seminar class. It was good, but long (6-9:30pm). I was very nervous going back to school after what seems like such a long time. I don't know anyone, and I think they all think I'm a freshman. I know I look young, but damn...still. I wish people would take notice of the behavior rather than just the looks before judging age. At any rate, I am looking forward to this class. I know it will be challenging, but I hope that I am up to it. ( <----see, the confidence thing...just can't be that positive of my abilities to pass a "real" class just yet.)
Otherwise, I don't have much to say. Well, that's not true actually. I think I have plenty to say, but I just don't feel like saying it lately. I also feel a certain shame in blogging when I still haven't even gotten around to reading the email in my personal email accounts (yes, Doom, that means I haven't opened any of your mail), much less anyone's blog! Gomenasai! There will come a time when I will catch up on it all, I'm not sure when that will be. 'Til then, I don't blame anyone for boycotting me. It shall be my penance for being a shitty blog friend. Seriously, feel free to ignore my existence until I tangibly recognize yours on your blog. Ok, well, I hope this hasn't been too disappointing/depressing. I will try to write something happy next time. Ciao!