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Sunday, June 25, 2006

every day is like sunday; every day is silent and grey

It is amazing how long a day can feel when you get up at a decent hour with nothing really to do and no one telling you what to do with the majority of it. I am back from steamy, hot, unbareable Alabama. I am enjoying the current temperature of 69.6 degrees Fahrenheit back in good ol' Minnesota. Yes - Minnesota can be hot and unbareable too, but at least it's not that way for 9 months out of the year.

I got back in at 5am yesterday. I managed to unpack my bags last night and then this morning I got up and did laundry right away and worked on thinning out my closet. I still need to go to the store to get some essential groceries, but I figure that can be an after supper trip. Otherwise, I don't have much planned for the rest of today. All I know is that I don't want to spend it sitting down. Problem is - Nailz did so much cleaning that the only realm of cleaning left is my room. I need to vacuum, but I think Nailz is taking a study break nap as of right now. And anyways, I get so frustrated with cleaning my room. I want to throw out so much, but then I can't bring myself to do it. Throwing out one pair of shoes (never worn in public, btw) and few shirts that no longer fit was about as far as I got today.

I don't want to go back to my job. I want to run away from it and never go back. Is that ok? I think society generally frowns upon that sort of irresponsible behavior. Unfortunately.

Recently, I've got the change itch. I want to change things in my life because so much of life seems to become stagnant. Problem is there are always obstacles to actually making life changes. It is over-coming the obstacles and still being responsible in the changes that makes me feel like trying to change is futile. But I'm not happy with this, this life that I have right now. And doesn't it stand true that if you're not happy you should try to change yourself or things so that happiness is at least an option?
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