i know we should be grateful, everything is falling apartHello from the land of Clare. It has been a while, but not as long as it has been between posts in the past. Life has been feeling more and more...abnormal. Since my last writing, Nailz and I have found a new place to live. The apartment we'll be renting is HUGE compared to the one we're in now, but for only $35 more a month. It is also only 3 miles away from where we currently live. New carpet, fresh paint (to include two walls that we get to have painted a sierra green and steel gray), a balcony and plenty of storage/closet space. I am excited, but also very nervous. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm just so nervous. I wish the move were already over and yet it is a full month away. It is hard to imagine disassembling home as we know it and transferring it over to somewhere new.
Another worry for me has been finding a new job. It is true that I am currently gainfully employed, but I have finally decided that my job is part of what is making me feel so unhappy most days. I applied for a business analyst position with Nailz's company today and am feeling very nervous about the whole thing. I feel like some kind of traitor looking for a new job while I still have one. I haven't told anyone I work with that I am looking for a new job and know that I shouldn't and that they really don't have any right to know, but I feel like a complete sneak. I know that my company needs me - I am one of only two people who do my job for the whole company (nationwide) and there is way too much work for even two people. But I'm beginning to feel like my job ship of happiness is sinking fast and I need to jump ship before it takes me down with it.
I have also begun a new career search. I'm planning on taking a couple years to complete my research before taking any major steps - mainly because I am pretty much tied to Minnesota for the next three years and after that I want to try to get into the JETT program and go to Japan for a year (or two, if they'll have me). I've visited my alma mater's career development office (free counseling for alumnae - yay!) and checked out a few books to guide me in my search. I feel that if I take my time in exploring careers, I will hopefully find one that I could really feel satisfied with at the end of the work day. So I am taking steps in the right direction.
Perhaps it is fall that makes me feel melancholy. I have been (if you haven't already noticed) a bit down for about the last month. I have days where I pull out of the fog briefly, but mostly I feel lost in a haze. Good news is that winter will pull me out of it - especially if we get some good snow storms. (Yes, because I am a complete freak - I love snow...)