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Monday, April 08, 2013

Ivannah: Fuckus.
Brodie: That's what I was thinking.
T.S.: She said "focus".
Brodie: Whatever.

I take the time to quote Mallrats because I, like Brodie, have been having a really hard time focusing lately.  What this results in is a lot of things being left incomplete or, worse yet, completely undone.  Lately, I forget about things that I needed to prepare for until they are moments away.  If I start something and there is a decision to be made, I become unable to move forward.  This occurs for even small things.  I cringe to think about what big things I am completely forgetting about simply because I can't bring myself to focus on them for even five minutes.

I recently read two things that have my mental hamster running:

10 Keys to Happiness

5 Myths About Stress

Taking into account what both of these seemingly disparate articles have to say, I could rationally say that I am fairly happy (I definitely find happiness in the small things like seeing a new bird that I've never seen before or having a cup of hot chocolate after walking home in the pouring rain), but that the amount of stress I'm experiencing recently (getting organized for an international move and complete life-change) is certainly taking its toll on my mental well-being.  Even if the cause of the stress is a positive thing, the stress that comes along with such a change is really heavy. 

I haven't found a way yet to cope effectively with this stress - though I do think that still being able to find pleasure in small things and getting to exercise help in some small way.  To me, it seems that the only thing that will alleviate some of the stress is to do my best to be prepared and to get stuff done.  Sadly, I think the mental strain from stress makes me more prone to forget and less able to focus; that kind of undercuts my efforts to get stuff done and organized.

Anyway, I've been meaning to keep this journal updated.  If I forget to update for a week at a time, it's simply because my hamster got tired or jumped to a different wheel. 

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