i need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me0829 hrs:Bah. I am in a pretty black mood this morning. I haven't even spoken a word to my co-workers yet today. Got here and put my headphones in right away. It's not that I would mind talking to them, but I have nothing to say right now. I was a few minutes late to work today. It was a result of having to clean up after the cat (who kept waking me up all last night, so he's definitely in my black book today). Didn't get much sleep last night and I am feeling super groggy. Morning coffee isn't helping any - it turned out very weak this morning. *sad girl with watery coffee*
Had an interesting weekend. My sister was visiting, but she was staying at someone else's place, so I wasn't home much this weekend except to sleep. As per usual when she is here, we visited with A. because he is a good friend of my sister's. He's an ex-boyfriend of mine from about 7 or 8 years ago and sometimes I get this crazy idea that I should go out with him again. Maybe I'm just lonely. If I am lonely, I think I would only have myself to blame.
1002 hrs:Wow. I am super tired today. I am running on auto-mode and have been getting things done, but it's all been while half-asleep and through heavy lidded eyes. Of course, now I feel a lot more awake. The coffee must have finally kicked in. :)
I am wearing a pair of nice pants with a cardigan and tank top today. It is pretty dressy compared to my normal attire. I picked the outfit last night and it didn't even occur to me that maybe I couldn't fit into the pants anymore. Well, I fit in to them, but they are fairly tight. They are actually kind of uncomfortable and I am already looking forward to getting home tonight and changing into something more comfortable. I really don't know where all this weight is coming from the last few months. People tell me that it is a side-effect of quitting smoking. That really bites. So I'm wondering how to get rid of this weight my body is piling on. I exercise 3 times a week already and eat small portions of food and don't eat out a lot normally. What else to do? It seems that no matter what I do I keep gaining weight. And it seems that especially now that I've actually concentrated on getting in to more healthy habits, my clothes just keep getting tighter and tighter. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to buy a new wardrobe. *is exasperated*
1158 hrs:At my bathroom break this morning I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. My pants are SUPER tight. I am really embarrassed to have worn something like these to work. I messaged one of my co-workers to vent my embarrassment and so she came and had a look but didn't think they were as bad as I made them sound. NOT TRUE! I feel like a total hoochie in these pants now that I've seen how tight they are in a mirror.
It's almost lunch time. I am hungry, but being frustrated with mysterious weight gain ruins my appetite. Guess I will eat anyway, because it would be stupid not to. I don't think I have anything else to say today. I am just hiding out in my cube and trying not to get up and around the office too often because of my embarrassingly tight pants. I hope the rest of the day goes by quickly so I can go home and change my pants. *blushes*
1241 hrs:More news from the too-tight-pants front: I was just sharing my embarrassment with a female co-worker over the cube wall and without realizing it, my voice is kind of loud. The one (1) male that works in the front office then casually walks by my cube "on his way to the boss' office", but is not very casual about the way he was obviously looking at the tight pants. That's it. I'm wearing my long jacket the rest of the day whenever I get up from my desk. *depressed sigh* OH - and also, apparently because my ass takes up more space in my pants, they look too short as well.
I know I'm probably being overly dramatic about the whole thing, but...well, it's embarrassing to make a fashion gaffe at work.
Labels: body issues, sleepy, work