the future is no place to place your better days*
1026 hrs:I am tired again today. I guess I can't really complain when it is my own fault, eh? I stayed up until almost midnight searching the interwebs for information on which film developing chemicals would work best with all of this discontinued film I am now the proud owner of. The problem with discontinued film is that along with the film, the manufacturers also stopped making the specialized developer (that would naturally follow, right?). So I posted a topic on my favorite flickr community (I Shoot Film) to see if any of the experts there could point me in the right direction. I have started putting all the supplies I would need to develop my own black & white negatives at home into a shopping cart that automatically saves and stays available for 3 weeks
here. Fun times. So far, I am only missing the chemicals and then should be able to order.
I already have two rolls of specialty black & white film that I am anxious to have developed. I want to get up and running with processing my own film because it is expensive to send to a lab (which would charge even more because of the specialty films I've been using) and because I would like to be more involved in the whole process. I would compare my continuing and growing attachment to photography and the impulse to be more involved to breast feeding, but I've already used that in reference to car maintenance in a post long, long ago. Tonight, I will be sure to put a link here to that specific entry - it will be nice to reminisce.
Had dreams about photography again last night even though I read a bit more of
The Giver before finally going to sleep near 1am.
To follow up on last week's deer-connecting-with-car event: my brakes have been funny ever since and the car is handling strangely too. Decided to put in a claim to Progressive and see what can be done about it. I have an appointment at their claims center tomorrow during my lunch hour. The drive there and back, plus the time to get a rental while my car is being looked at will probably take almost 2 hours, so I'm sure I will be staying at work late tomorrow. I wonder how much the estimate for repair will come out to be. I have a $500 deductible, but still...Depending on the nature and cost of the repairs, I may just hold off on it until I feel less like a cheapskate.
1144 hrs:The good Catholic in me has been surfacing lately when it comes to the whole JET Program thing. One of the things I think Catholics are very good at is self-flagellation. I feel really guilty about many things that I think normal people (aka non-Catholics for this portion of reflection) would be puzzled as to why. Right now, I not only do I feel guilty, but I feel guilty for something that
hasn't even happened yet. That's how deeply ingrained my sense of obligation to others and community is. This is what I blame on my Catholic upbringing. I haven't even interviewed for the JET Program yet, much less been accepted into it, and yet I feel guilty for leaving Nailz in the lurch and for leaving my job (that has just given me a tiny raise - which is better than what most people are getting in this economy). I feel like I am abandoning them, as if I am turning my back on my sense of loyalty. This is hard for me to understand. Logically, I know that there is nothing to feel guilty about, but I still do. It's quite a lot like worrying - which I am also really good at.
1553 hrs:Ah...Just got off the phone with Nailz (who called in sick today). It always makes me feel better when I can be snarky on the phone to her. Mainly because I'm out of arms' reach. Heh.
Best post this and get on the road home for the evening. My head is all throbbing and does not feel good at all. However, this will not deter me from managing mischief when possible tonight. *grin*
*Dave Matthews Band - Cry FreedomLabels: car troubles, dreams, JET program, photography, work