Down the Rabbit Hole with the Semi-Evil Squirrel

if we were feckless we'd be fine, sucking hard on our innocence

0923 hrs:
From the most mundane to the bigger questions of life, I have a lot on my mind today. I wish I was at home so that I could actually take the time to think things through. Of course, depending on how many and who gets laid off from my office, I may have plenty of time in the near future to sit at home and ponder the big and little things of life. Boss Lady told us on Tuesday afternoon (right before the end of the work day) that there were going to be lay offs, but she didn't know the time frame for them yet. Fun times. It's always nice working at a job you're not quite sure you're going to have tomorrow.

As much as I hate to say it, I think all arrows point to me when it comes to the lay off. As I've said before, I haven't really been assigned a specific job role since I returned from deployment in August. This doesn't mean that I haven't been busy or that I haven't had work - it's just that it has been helping other people (who have solid, clear job roles) with their work load because everyone was (and still is, really) behind when I returned to work.

Not only does the lack of a clear job role put me in the danger zone, so does the fact that I am the ONLY one here who is single, has no children and does not own a home that needs the mortgage paid on. I'm also young, educated and an efficient worker with a good work history - which means my boss may feel better for laying me off with the thought that I could more easily find a job than others here AND no children or husbands would become homeless and hungry if I couldn't find a job right away. Isn't it wonderful being single? I'm on the verge of ranting about how American society passively punishes people who choose to remain single and childless, but I'll refrain. Because my life is obviously worth so much less than those who have chosen to get married and reproduce, it wouldn't matter if I yelled until I was blue in the face anyway. Yeah - bitter much? You could say that.

1357 hrs:
Listening to a mix CD that I so aptly titled "Downer Music". That encourages people to listen to it, eh? Good songs on it though:

Red Hot Chili Peppers - I Could've Lied
American Hi-Fi - Don't Wait for the Sun
Barenaked Ladies - Break Your Heart
LIVE - Turn My Head
LIVE - Ghost
LIVE - Gas Hed Goes West
Gary Allan - Smoke Rings in the Dark
Ellis - promises
Chris Issak - Wicked Game
Backstreet Boys - Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely *hides in shame*
Lisa Loeb - Falling in Love
Indigo Girls - Center Stage
Annie Lennox - Why (unplugged version)

Labels: fret, JET program, job woes, moody, playlists, yelling into the void

waiting in the right shoes*

0747 hrs:
If I could use one phrase to sum up what I think this day is going to be like, I would say, "Uh oh..."

It's never a good sign when it takes 5 minutes to log on to the network and near that to log on to the email server. Anything having to do with anything that is networked or is not completely stored and run on or from your PC is super slow. *sigh*

I am trying the breakfast/health/protein shake that I wrote about yesterday. I must say...it is completely n-a-s-t-y. It practically makes me gag thinking about it. Here's the recipe if you're masochistic enough for it:

~~~

Breakfast Protein Shake

1 c. fresh or frozen fruit
1/4 - 1/2 c. coconut milk (from a can, look for the unsweetened stuff, otherwise, it's loaded with sugars)
1 scoop (1 T) pure whey protein powder (again, none of the sweetened or flavored stuff)
1 c. plain whole milk yogurt

Combine ingredients in blender and mix until desired consistency.

~~~

The idea that anyone would use the word "desired" in any relation to this recipe is unbelievable. The main thing about the shake that bothers me is the coconut milk. I like coconut milk in curries, but I think that might be it.

I will give the shake another try tomorrow and reduce the amount of coconut milk and up the amount of fruit. I think I only added 1/2 c. of fruit (1 orange), so maybe that's part of it. Hopefully tomorrow's report will be better. Until then, I am determined to drink at least half of this morning's shake because I don't have anything else for breakfast and I am SO hungry. Plus, it'll build character, right? *gulps in dread*

0904 hrs:
All systems are still really slow. In fact, right now, I'm trying to sign on to one of the main applications I use and it has been over 10 minutes since I typed my log in. People are getting talky-talky because it takes so long to do even the smallest tasks. I think I might clean my desk soon, just to take up some time. Considering I've gotten 1 (one) thing done this morning and I've been here for 1 1/2 hours, I'd say time is really starting to drag now. Well, at least when the problem is fixed, I will have lots of work to do and the rest of the day will fly by.

Been drinking the shake of doom little by little. Every mouthful is about 1/8 cup. After mixing, the shake turns out to be about 2 1/4 cups. I'm down to 1/2 cup left. I'd say I'm more M than Koyama at this point, Nailz - and you know what that means. *meaningful look* I just can't bring myself to get rid of the rest of the shake for a couple of reasons: 1) it IS really good for me, 2) my stomach, for the first time in quite a while, feels soothed. And...Oh heck, there's a third reason too (which some may have guessed already): 3) I hate wasting food - especially if it was expensive.

1019 hrs:
All systems are still mostly down. I'm not quite sure how I've gotten to this time without doing much. I guess the times that I space out waiting for the systems to move is longer than I realize. I eventually got sick of waiting for the one system to log me in. After 54 minutes of logging in, I shut the application down and decided to wait a while before trying to get back in. Cleaning my desk is going to be my next time-consumer.

I am very tired today, so spacing out is pretty easy for me (ok - well, it is normally pretty easy for me anyway). I slept like crap last night. Lately, my sleep has not been of a very good quality and the quantity (except for Saturday) has also been small. Last night was not only a restless night, but also had a period of time where I woke up and then couldn't fall back to sleep for a while. The wind was really strong last night and this morning and my window was rattling in its jamb throughout the night. Tonight I'm not messing around, I'm going to take a sleeping pill and put in ear plugs. There's nothing worse than having a crap night of trying to sleep and then not getting the chance to recoup it. Both Nailz and I have been having a hard time of getting enough sleep lately.

1542 hrs:
The systems have been back up and running since around noon. Rock on. I got everything I need to done. Some days I am the butt of office jokes. Today was one such day. At some point, one gets sick of being the object of interest. Today was one such day. I might also add that although most people in the office were chatty ALL day, somehow I get singled out in the afternoon for participating in a 15 minutes office-wide "discussion". Kind of hits me the wrong way. Already wishing it were Friday. I have two things that I wish I could explore more here, but it would take up too much time and room, so maybe I'll get to them some other day when I can't think of anything else to yell into the void.

*The Devlins - Waiting

Labels: cow-orkers, food, getting fit, recipe, work, yelling into the void

thunder only happens when it's raining

0845 hrs:
*big yawn*

0902 hrs:
Just brewed some coffee. Have decided to count calories today just to see what my daily intake is like. There is a website where you can get the nutrition data for almost anything. Here's what they have to say about coffee: http://www.nutritiondata.com/facts/beverages/3898/2

I would say that 2 calories per 8 oz is a pretty good deal. I add 2 sugar packets (30 calories) and a dollop of 1% milk (give or take 10 calories). That means I am only taking in about 50 calories per coffee that I make.

Compare a home- (or office- as the case may be) made cup of coffee to the alternative: http://www.nutritiondata.com/facts/foods-from-starbucks/9604/2

Doesn't that coffee sound yummy? But it has no nutritional value AND it is 227 calories more than a plain, 12 oz cup of coffee (which, I might point out, has Amino Acids where the Starbucks does not). Add on to that the fact that the coffee I am drinking at this very moment (Maxwell House, Good to the Last Drop) cost me...*thinks*...maybe about $0.10 whereas the Starbucks would have set me back at least $3.50 plus tax and tip and I think I've just made a major dietary change decision. (Not that I drank a lot of coffee house coffee before, but now it just doesn't seem worth it!)

1139 hrs:
Have been thinking over the last few months about what it takes to have a blog or LJ that people find worth reading. I seem to have lost a lot of what made this blog interesting in the (very) beginning. From what I can tell, people who have a wide readership usually have something interesting to say about something other than themselves (in other words, SUBSTANCE). Sometimes, there is even humor involved. If I take a look at those three qualifications, my blog appears to be as dry and boring as unsalted flour crackers. This may be resultant of my life in general. I don't do things that others see as interesting and when I do, I'm too busy having fun to blog about it. In some way, it makes one want to give up. But maybe I enjoy yelling into the void too much - even if no one else ever hears me...

1537 hrs:
I am already excited that tomorrow is Friday. I have so many good and productive things to do this weekend and I just can't wait to get to it!! XD

Young Master Murphy gets to visit Santa on Saturday on get his picture taken. I'll have to trim his claws so that he doesn't injure Santa out of pure, feline joy.

Guess that is about it. I've gotten a lot of work done today and at about 3pm I finished the last page of the revised process document (45 pages!) and felt like I should be able to just go home. As if, "I've done what I've come to do. Now I leave." Just like that. That would nice, ne? *dreams*

Also, checked the Powerball numbers and I won $4. I think I know where I'm going to be buying my tickets from now on!

PLAYLIST:
The Decemberistis - The Crane Wife (proved too gently for first thing in the morning)
NEWS - Color (always helps to pep things up a bit)
Dir en grey - Uroboros (good for energizing the mid-afternoon slump hours)

Labels: coffee, nutrition/diet, playlists, weekend plans, work, yelling into the void