Thursday, July 04, 2013
masquerade
From yesterday onwards, I had and will have my last classes at each school. A few thoughts have been running through my head about it.
First, is that I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of what my own funeral would be like. The way my leaving is lamented, you would think I really had died. It's all quite dramatic. I feel almost awkward for not partaking in the spectacle of crying so much. While I don't want to belittle anyone's process of separation, all this attention leaves me feeling embarrassed.
Second is that as my classes finish up, I'm finally starting to feel completely at ease in the classroom and my classes have been going really well! Initially, I thought, "Of course, now that I'm leaving I feel confident and the kids are having fun", but now I realize that it's because I'm leaving that I feel so at ease and confident. Knowing that these last classes ARE my last classes, I can really enjoy them without caring so much about sticking to the curriculum and without feeling pressure for the kids wanting me to come back. (What does this say about me? That I'm only relaxed and comfortable when I know something is almost over??)
So it's kind of double-edged. I'll admit that even though I have something to look forward to after all of this, saying all of these goodbyes is rather depressing.
0 CoMmEnTs
From yesterday onwards, I had and will have my last classes at each school. A few thoughts have been running through my head about it.
First, is that I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of what my own funeral would be like. The way my leaving is lamented, you would think I really had died. It's all quite dramatic. I feel almost awkward for not partaking in the spectacle of crying so much. While I don't want to belittle anyone's process of separation, all this attention leaves me feeling embarrassed.
Second is that as my classes finish up, I'm finally starting to feel completely at ease in the classroom and my classes have been going really well! Initially, I thought, "Of course, now that I'm leaving I feel confident and the kids are having fun", but now I realize that it's because I'm leaving that I feel so at ease and confident. Knowing that these last classes ARE my last classes, I can really enjoy them without caring so much about sticking to the curriculum and without feeling pressure for the kids wanting me to come back. (What does this say about me? That I'm only relaxed and comfortable when I know something is almost over??)
So it's kind of double-edged. I'll admit that even though I have something to look forward to after all of this, saying all of these goodbyes is rather depressing.
Labels: random
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
i get lost in my mind*
Today I wrote my Christmas letter. I write it early because it takes me a long time to buy cards and get them addressed. I also like to write a little personal message on each one...
I always get a little depressed after writing it. Maybe because I look back and the things I do in a year seem to have gone by too quickly. Maybe because the "important" things fit neatly in 1 1/2 pages. Maybe because I have to skip over a lot. Maybe because I don't mention the things that are truly important to me. Maybe because it reflects an edited me. A me with all the ugly bits taken out.
I make it a habit never to write about the future in my letters. Maybe living in Japan has made me superstitious, but it kind of feels like it would jinx it. People make plans, but how often do they follow them? And if something you wrote about didn't happen - wouldn't it feel strange to have to say so in the next year's letter?
Anyway. I will send out my Christmas letter in December. I'm sure it will be edited a time or two until then. I hope it is well-received and actually gets read. I read every holiday letter and card that I get. For me it is a comforting ritual to read about how my far away friends and family are. I don't care if the letter is full of bragging (which hardly any are) or a bit of melancholy - I just like the thought that someone took the time to reflect on the past year and put it down on paper and then took the time and expense to send it to the people they think or know will care.
*The Head and the Heart - Lost in My Mind
0 CoMmEnTs
Today I wrote my Christmas letter. I write it early because it takes me a long time to buy cards and get them addressed. I also like to write a little personal message on each one...
I always get a little depressed after writing it. Maybe because I look back and the things I do in a year seem to have gone by too quickly. Maybe because the "important" things fit neatly in 1 1/2 pages. Maybe because I have to skip over a lot. Maybe because I don't mention the things that are truly important to me. Maybe because it reflects an edited me. A me with all the ugly bits taken out.
I make it a habit never to write about the future in my letters. Maybe living in Japan has made me superstitious, but it kind of feels like it would jinx it. People make plans, but how often do they follow them? And if something you wrote about didn't happen - wouldn't it feel strange to have to say so in the next year's letter?
Anyway. I will send out my Christmas letter in December. I'm sure it will be edited a time or two until then. I hope it is well-received and actually gets read. I read every holiday letter and card that I get. For me it is a comforting ritual to read about how my far away friends and family are. I don't care if the letter is full of bragging (which hardly any are) or a bit of melancholy - I just like the thought that someone took the time to reflect on the past year and put it down on paper and then took the time and expense to send it to the people they think or know will care.
*The Head and the Heart - Lost in My Mind
Sunday, October 30, 2011
someone like you
Every once in a while, I see an advertisement for wedding rings or walk by a jeweler and my chest tightens a little. I'm not one for jewelry - I just want what it symbolizes at its best.
0 CoMmEnTs
Every once in a while, I see an advertisement for wedding rings or walk by a jeweler and my chest tightens a little. I'm not one for jewelry - I just want what it symbolizes at its best.
Labels: random
Thursday, November 04, 2010
losing
A thought (that comes after writing a letter to one of my grandmas): I have given nice things to my grandma every time I have traveled abroad. When I went to Kuwait, I sent her a knitted lap blanket made from camel wool. When I visited Japan for the first time, I sent her a warm, quilted happi (house) coat.
Recently, my grandma was moved into a "living center". She had been thinning out her possessions for some time; giving things back to people who had given them to her or giving things to people who had always said they liked something. When she was moved, it came to the point where a rummage sale was held to sell the things she wouldn't be keeping with her at the living center. What didn't sell was taken to Civic Council/Goodwill.
The reason she was moved into a living center is because she had fallen and hit her head at home. Because of the fall, she had some blood in her skull - in between the skull and brain. She had emergency surgery to drain the blood and ease pressure on her brain. As a result, she suffered memory loss and had to be on a few medicines for a while until it looked like everything was back to normal.
In September, a few weeks after my birthday, I received a birthday card from my grandma. On the envelope, my aunt (who has helped care for my grandma because she lives closest) had written that grandma had forgotten to send this to me until now. Inside the card was nothing besides her signature. No letter. No note. Not even my name.
I have written her letters about once every two months since my move to Japan. For the first six months, I received coherent letters from her. A month before the fall up until now - there has been no letter. No reply. I begin to wonder if she remembers who I am. Maybe receiving my letters is like receiving letters from a stranger.
So the thought is this: it upsets me to think that the gifts I found in far away lands and gave to my grandma were sold off at a rummage sale to total strangers for a fraction of what they are actually worth, but not because of their monetary worth, but because, like those gifts, she is no longer present. It feels like the bond we once had has been severed. It begins to feel like she is gone before she is really gone.
0 CoMmEnTs
A thought (that comes after writing a letter to one of my grandmas): I have given nice things to my grandma every time I have traveled abroad. When I went to Kuwait, I sent her a knitted lap blanket made from camel wool. When I visited Japan for the first time, I sent her a warm, quilted happi (house) coat.
Recently, my grandma was moved into a "living center". She had been thinning out her possessions for some time; giving things back to people who had given them to her or giving things to people who had always said they liked something. When she was moved, it came to the point where a rummage sale was held to sell the things she wouldn't be keeping with her at the living center. What didn't sell was taken to Civic Council/Goodwill.
The reason she was moved into a living center is because she had fallen and hit her head at home. Because of the fall, she had some blood in her skull - in between the skull and brain. She had emergency surgery to drain the blood and ease pressure on her brain. As a result, she suffered memory loss and had to be on a few medicines for a while until it looked like everything was back to normal.
In September, a few weeks after my birthday, I received a birthday card from my grandma. On the envelope, my aunt (who has helped care for my grandma because she lives closest) had written that grandma had forgotten to send this to me until now. Inside the card was nothing besides her signature. No letter. No note. Not even my name.
I have written her letters about once every two months since my move to Japan. For the first six months, I received coherent letters from her. A month before the fall up until now - there has been no letter. No reply. I begin to wonder if she remembers who I am. Maybe receiving my letters is like receiving letters from a stranger.
So the thought is this: it upsets me to think that the gifts I found in far away lands and gave to my grandma were sold off at a rummage sale to total strangers for a fraction of what they are actually worth, but not because of their monetary worth, but because, like those gifts, she is no longer present. It feels like the bond we once had has been severed. It begins to feel like she is gone before she is really gone.
Labels: deep thoughts, emo, in tribute to nanowrimo, letters, life, random, sad
Sunday, June 07, 2009
don't think me unkind, words are hard to find*
So a couple of completely random things that have one thing in common: they have been both been found after having been lost.
*The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
0 CoMmEnTs
So a couple of completely random things that have one thing in common: they have been both been found after having been lost.
The first thing I found earlier this week when exploring the pantry. I found a jar of something tomato based that my Mom had canned for me long ago. (I'm pretty sure that I've moved that jar of something from one apartment to the next without ever investigating it.) Opened it to find out what it was. I knew it had to be either salsa or pasta sauce. It was salsa, but it smelled funny, so I decided to taste it to see if it was good. It was and the reason it smelled funny was because it was loaded with Tabasco sauce. So have been using it up in recipes and on scrambled eggs on the weekends.
The other thing is that I came across my old CPU. When I say old, I mean 1998. Yes, it is only 11 years old, but that is almost a dinosaur in computer years. It is a Packard Bell Multimedia 730.
Stats:
- MII-266 MMX Enhanced processor
- 4.3 GB HDD
- 40 MB SyncDRAM
- 56 Kbps capable modem
- 24x Max variable speed CD-ROM Drive (notice it's not writeable)
It still (miraculously) works. I do get the occasional BSOD. Today, I fired it up to get all of the data off of it from college. I was hoping to hook up the external HD to migrate the data, but no dice. The old CPU wanted a driver for the HD. I had to resort to...*pauses for dramatic effect*...floppy disks. Luckily, I had all of the documents that were on the HD on a stack of floppies numbering 42 in total.
When I fired up the old PC, I had only plugged in the necessary items to get the data transfered. Then I noticed that the CD drive was doing something. It was playing a CD. I pushed the eject button but the drive door wouldn't open. I tried to pry the CD drawer open while pressing eject. Nothing. It occurred to me that the CD stuck in this drive might be my long lost Police CD that I had been on-and-off wracking my brain to figure out what had ever happened to it. I said to Nailz, "If this is my Police CD...*leaves out further vulgar statement*". Sadly, though the old PC only has a few ports on it, it took a few minutes to find the correct place to plug in speakers and then another minute or two to figure out how to make sound come out. There were four places to check for volume: the media player, the speakers themselves, the icon tray and on the old PC itself (right below the CD-ROM drive). Finally sound came out and I was greeted with the beginning beats of "Roxanne". I couldn't help but give out a surprised, "You bastard!!". For years I have been trying to figure out what had happened to that CD...
Ah...but now that 'tis found, I feel complete again. It must be hitsuzen, as The Police is perfect for the first real rainy day we've had all spring.
The other thing is that I came across my old CPU. When I say old, I mean 1998. Yes, it is only 11 years old, but that is almost a dinosaur in computer years. It is a Packard Bell Multimedia 730.
Stats:
- MII-266 MMX Enhanced processor
- 4.3 GB HDD
- 40 MB SyncDRAM
- 56 Kbps capable modem
- 24x Max variable speed CD-ROM Drive (notice it's not writeable)
It still (miraculously) works. I do get the occasional BSOD. Today, I fired it up to get all of the data off of it from college. I was hoping to hook up the external HD to migrate the data, but no dice. The old CPU wanted a driver for the HD. I had to resort to...*pauses for dramatic effect*...floppy disks. Luckily, I had all of the documents that were on the HD on a stack of floppies numbering 42 in total.
When I fired up the old PC, I had only plugged in the necessary items to get the data transfered. Then I noticed that the CD drive was doing something. It was playing a CD. I pushed the eject button but the drive door wouldn't open. I tried to pry the CD drawer open while pressing eject. Nothing. It occurred to me that the CD stuck in this drive might be my long lost Police CD that I had been on-and-off wracking my brain to figure out what had ever happened to it. I said to Nailz, "If this is my Police CD...*leaves out further vulgar statement*". Sadly, though the old PC only has a few ports on it, it took a few minutes to find the correct place to plug in speakers and then another minute or two to figure out how to make sound come out. There were four places to check for volume: the media player, the speakers themselves, the icon tray and on the old PC itself (right below the CD-ROM drive). Finally sound came out and I was greeted with the beginning beats of "Roxanne". I couldn't help but give out a surprised, "You bastard!!". For years I have been trying to figure out what had happened to that CD...
Ah...but now that 'tis found, I feel complete again. It must be hitsuzen, as The Police is perfect for the first real rainy day we've had all spring.
*The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Friday, June 20, 2008
and yet still i wish i could dream as when young
Ah. So I am feeling apathetic and kind of down today. I have been listening to depressing songs all day. I listened to NEWS's "Ai Nante" many times today. It makes my heart ache listening to it - like I have grown apart from someone I really loved. This, of course, is ridiculous because I haven't been "in love" for a long time. It really has been 6 years since my last serious relationship. I've dated since then and even had a few online romances, but nothing serious or where it lasted long or affected me beyond normal break-up blues. Isn't it strange how music can touch your heart like that? Affect you so much, you feel as if you could have written the lyrics?
Anywho - because of this apathy, I didn't really do much today and can't even really decide if I want to eat or not. I've had a few bites to eat of random things, but have no desire to make anything or go out either. I like just staying in, even if it means that I don't eat.
I think part of all this hermit-like behavior is part of my readjustment. I just feel more comfortable when I don't have to worry about going somewhere and putting on something other than PJs or sweats in order to do it. And I don't have to worry about spending money when I am home. It is just nice to be for a while. Pretty soon I will be heading down to South Dakota to see my friends and family and while I know it will be fun - I think it will be difficult for me to actually get moving and on the road when I am supposed to.
Well, guess that's about it. Not much else happening. I might actually blog a lot in the next couple of months, so I apologize in advance. :]
0 CoMmEnTs
Ah. So I am feeling apathetic and kind of down today. I have been listening to depressing songs all day. I listened to NEWS's "Ai Nante" many times today. It makes my heart ache listening to it - like I have grown apart from someone I really loved. This, of course, is ridiculous because I haven't been "in love" for a long time. It really has been 6 years since my last serious relationship. I've dated since then and even had a few online romances, but nothing serious or where it lasted long or affected me beyond normal break-up blues. Isn't it strange how music can touch your heart like that? Affect you so much, you feel as if you could have written the lyrics?
Anywho - because of this apathy, I didn't really do much today and can't even really decide if I want to eat or not. I've had a few bites to eat of random things, but have no desire to make anything or go out either. I like just staying in, even if it means that I don't eat.
I think part of all this hermit-like behavior is part of my readjustment. I just feel more comfortable when I don't have to worry about going somewhere and putting on something other than PJs or sweats in order to do it. And I don't have to worry about spending money when I am home. It is just nice to be for a while. Pretty soon I will be heading down to South Dakota to see my friends and family and while I know it will be fun - I think it will be difficult for me to actually get moving and on the road when I am supposed to.
Well, guess that's about it. Not much else happening. I might actually blog a lot in the next couple of months, so I apologize in advance. :]
Labels: complete ramble, random
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
why don't we do it in the road?
I had this Beatles song running through my head after I saw two sparrows "proliferating" (if that is a word) their kind.
1 CoMmEnTs
I had this Beatles song running through my head after I saw two sparrows "proliferating" (if that is a word) their kind.
Labels: random
Friday, May 16, 2008
Anyone want 30 degrees?
Ah...So today it was 103 degrees outside at 11am. Mmm...Doesn't it just give you the warm fuzzies? When I get back to Minnesota, I will honestly be wearing sweatshirts and jeans even when it is 70 degrees out.
Not much news here. I just wanted to blog and brag about my new achievement. But first, a little history. Heh. I have never been much of a Minesweeper fan. In fact, I avoided it because I used to get frustrated by it too easily. I started playing Minesweeper as soon as I sent all of my books home. I'm talking about HOURS of it. In fact, I usually can't go to sleep at night until I win at least one game of it. I have patiently worked my way up from the beginning level. Last night, after many, many hours of playing the expert level I finally beat it. It took me 683 seconds. I was beginning to come up with all sorts of mental life metaphors about how there was just one game I could not beat through determination and persistence. Those doubts no longer exist.
I have beaten expert level Minesweeper - I can do anything!! *feels accomplished*
1 CoMmEnTs
Ah...So today it was 103 degrees outside at 11am. Mmm...Doesn't it just give you the warm fuzzies? When I get back to Minnesota, I will honestly be wearing sweatshirts and jeans even when it is 70 degrees out.
Not much news here. I just wanted to blog and brag about my new achievement. But first, a little history. Heh. I have never been much of a Minesweeper fan. In fact, I avoided it because I used to get frustrated by it too easily. I started playing Minesweeper as soon as I sent all of my books home. I'm talking about HOURS of it. In fact, I usually can't go to sleep at night until I win at least one game of it. I have patiently worked my way up from the beginning level. Last night, after many, many hours of playing the expert level I finally beat it. It took me 683 seconds. I was beginning to come up with all sorts of mental life metaphors about how there was just one game I could not beat through determination and persistence. Those doubts no longer exist.
I have beaten expert level Minesweeper - I can do anything!! *feels accomplished*
Labels: random
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
i've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots
*sigh* I've posted part 4 of the Japan travelogue at the LJ. Other than that, there is not much new to say. (ETA: yeah, and then look at this oncoming ramble!!) I did watch Gone with the Wind recently and that has not helped the slow downward spiral toward apathy - and not really wanting to do anything. I am looking forward to having some time off later today and just bumming around in my room. I have worked some insane hours the last week and a half and I am mentally and physically exhausted.
I might take my Dad's old Minolta out for a pleasure cruise today and see what I can find to use up the last 4 exposures on the current roll of Black & White film that is loaded. I have an idea for at least one subject. This weekend I took 20 shots of the same subject and it took me nearly 2 hours to do so. I was really trying to get the subject from a number of angles, distances, lighting, etc. I hope some of them turn out ok. Photography and bird watching are about the only things that I am enthusiastic about recently. Next week when the newest shipment of manga arrives from the comic shop, I will probably be super excited about fandom again. The next shipment should include the latest volumes of the following series: Hana Kimi, Tramps Like Us, Tsubasa, xxxHolic, FMA, Penguin Revolution, Fruits Basket and Genshiken. Also, Nailz is shipping me some DVDs. Perhaps if I throw myself into fandom, photography, etc, I will feel a little more lively than I have lately.
I wish I had something more to say here, but it seems that I don't.
0 CoMmEnTs
*sigh* I've posted part 4 of the Japan travelogue at the LJ. Other than that, there is not much new to say. (ETA: yeah, and then look at this oncoming ramble!!) I did watch Gone with the Wind recently and that has not helped the slow downward spiral toward apathy - and not really wanting to do anything. I am looking forward to having some time off later today and just bumming around in my room. I have worked some insane hours the last week and a half and I am mentally and physically exhausted.
I might take my Dad's old Minolta out for a pleasure cruise today and see what I can find to use up the last 4 exposures on the current roll of Black & White film that is loaded. I have an idea for at least one subject. This weekend I took 20 shots of the same subject and it took me nearly 2 hours to do so. I was really trying to get the subject from a number of angles, distances, lighting, etc. I hope some of them turn out ok. Photography and bird watching are about the only things that I am enthusiastic about recently. Next week when the newest shipment of manga arrives from the comic shop, I will probably be super excited about fandom again. The next shipment should include the latest volumes of the following series: Hana Kimi, Tramps Like Us, Tsubasa, xxxHolic, FMA, Penguin Revolution, Fruits Basket and Genshiken. Also, Nailz is shipping me some DVDs. Perhaps if I throw myself into fandom, photography, etc, I will feel a little more lively than I have lately.
I wish I had something more to say here, but it seems that I don't.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
i come to you in restless sleep where all your dreams turn bittersweet
So I am not quite highly-caffeinated, so I decided to not make this another episode of "Highly-Caffeinated Clare". I'm not quite rambly and incoherent enough for one of those...
So the suitcase I ordered for the trip to Japan finally came in the mail yesterday. The final preparatory stage can now begin. I will begin packing tomorrow - my day off. I know that the trip is still over a week away, but with the little amount of time that I get off, I don't want to leave it for the last minute. Plus, this way I can remember the little things that I haven't yet packed and still have time to add them in. Next weekend is bound to be full of all the last minute things (including waxing my eyebrows and other beauty regimens).
I've had a fairly busy social week. I hung out with some of the local crowd two nights in a row and was out late both nights - so I was very tired for a good 2 or 3 days this week. I did get to eat some of the local cuisine and it was very good, so that was a nice break from the normal food routine.
Because of the tendency towards being a social butterfly, I have neglected my study of Japanese. *shamed* Tomorrow, I intend to remedy this situation by trying to complete 3 lessons. Doing 3 lessons in one day will still not catch me up to where I should have been by now, but what can you do?
Not much else to say except that I have been having really strange dreams for the past week and I always wake up thinking, "what the hell?" but by the time I'm done getting ready for work, all memory of them is already gone.
Hope all are well! Now, I'm off to peruse everyone's blogs...
Oh - and here's a quiz. No fancy picture, but still kind of interesting:
My Bloginality is ISTJ!!! The ISTJ results are listed as you scroll down the page on the left-hand side.
Also this quiz - which was delightfully fun to take as some of the answers to choose from are pretty hilarious:
Anna of Cleves got the royal shaft. She came all the way to England to become the fourth wife of Henry VIII. Once married to Anna, he refused to consummate the marriage, and called her the "Flanders Mare". Talk about a burn, considering that by this time, Henry was the fattest man in England and had a rotting syphilis sore on his leg.
Anna was miffed, but she was too sensible to let it ruin her fun. She was given an annulment and a fat yearly allowance, and she threw extravagant parties and dined on delicacies for the rest of her life.
Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury
2 CoMmEnTs
So I am not quite highly-caffeinated, so I decided to not make this another episode of "Highly-Caffeinated Clare". I'm not quite rambly and incoherent enough for one of those...
So the suitcase I ordered for the trip to Japan finally came in the mail yesterday. The final preparatory stage can now begin. I will begin packing tomorrow - my day off. I know that the trip is still over a week away, but with the little amount of time that I get off, I don't want to leave it for the last minute. Plus, this way I can remember the little things that I haven't yet packed and still have time to add them in. Next weekend is bound to be full of all the last minute things (including waxing my eyebrows and other beauty regimens).
I've had a fairly busy social week. I hung out with some of the local crowd two nights in a row and was out late both nights - so I was very tired for a good 2 or 3 days this week. I did get to eat some of the local cuisine and it was very good, so that was a nice break from the normal food routine.
Because of the tendency towards being a social butterfly, I have neglected my study of Japanese. *shamed* Tomorrow, I intend to remedy this situation by trying to complete 3 lessons. Doing 3 lessons in one day will still not catch me up to where I should have been by now, but what can you do?
Not much else to say except that I have been having really strange dreams for the past week and I always wake up thinking, "what the hell?" but by the time I'm done getting ready for work, all memory of them is already gone.
Hope all are well! Now, I'm off to peruse everyone's blogs...
Oh - and here's a quiz. No fancy picture, but still kind of interesting:
My Bloginality is ISTJ!!! The ISTJ results are listed as you scroll down the page on the left-hand side.
Also this quiz - which was delightfully fun to take as some of the answers to choose from are pretty hilarious:
Anna was miffed, but she was too sensible to let it ruin her fun. She was given an annulment and a fat yearly allowance, and she threw extravagant parties and dined on delicacies for the rest of her life.
Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury
Labels: japan trip, quiz, random
Sunday, January 13, 2008
cheer them on to their rivals
Ah. So my blogging has slowed down a bit (or has it?). I have been busy securing reservations for the places that Nailz and I are going to stay at during our upcoming trip to Japan. In the process of trying to make reservations, I even called one of the inns and it was very...um...funny, yet embarassing. I tried communicating by using the phrases in my Lonely Planet Japanese travel pocket-sized book and what little Japanese I know. The lady on the other end was trying her best to speak English and understand me. In the end, she just ended up saying "no room" and I politely thanked her and then hung up. BUT - eventually, we got all of our reservations set and they are all in pretty nice, but inexpensive places. I figured out how much we will each spend a night on accommodations and it turns out to average out at $45. Not bad - I don't think we could find such deals in the states except at roadside motels.
I've been doing a lot to try to get ready for this trip. I've been using Rosetta Stone and the book "Japanese for Busy People" to try to absorb as much Japanese as possible. The result is that I can read and write in hiragana and katakana, but not really know what the words mean. I have a few more weeks to study, so hopefully I will get a vocabulary by then. :)
Today is a pretty good day for internet. I am outside and it is not too bad. I think it is in the high 50s or low 60s (I may be being optomistic with those temps), and the wind is chilly, but the sun is out, so that helps.
Not much else to say, I guess. I've sent out a fair number of emails in the last few hours and I still feel like I am forgetting something. Something that may have been interesting - but for the life of me, I can't think of what it is...
2 CoMmEnTs
Ah. So my blogging has slowed down a bit (or has it?). I have been busy securing reservations for the places that Nailz and I are going to stay at during our upcoming trip to Japan. In the process of trying to make reservations, I even called one of the inns and it was very...um...funny, yet embarassing. I tried communicating by using the phrases in my Lonely Planet Japanese travel pocket-sized book and what little Japanese I know. The lady on the other end was trying her best to speak English and understand me. In the end, she just ended up saying "no room" and I politely thanked her and then hung up. BUT - eventually, we got all of our reservations set and they are all in pretty nice, but inexpensive places. I figured out how much we will each spend a night on accommodations and it turns out to average out at $45. Not bad - I don't think we could find such deals in the states except at roadside motels.
I've been doing a lot to try to get ready for this trip. I've been using Rosetta Stone and the book "Japanese for Busy People" to try to absorb as much Japanese as possible. The result is that I can read and write in hiragana and katakana, but not really know what the words mean. I have a few more weeks to study, so hopefully I will get a vocabulary by then. :)
Today is a pretty good day for internet. I am outside and it is not too bad. I think it is in the high 50s or low 60s (I may be being optomistic with those temps), and the wind is chilly, but the sun is out, so that helps.
Not much else to say, I guess. I've sent out a fair number of emails in the last few hours and I still feel like I am forgetting something. Something that may have been interesting - but for the life of me, I can't think of what it is...
Labels: japan trip, random
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
0_o
There is a band called The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - commonly shortened to RJA. Ok.....*not sure what to think* BUT - I admit that I like their Face Down song. Nothing like pop-rock...
1 CoMmEnTs
There is a band called The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - commonly shortened to RJA. Ok.....*not sure what to think* BUT - I admit that I like their Face Down song. Nothing like pop-rock...
Labels: random
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
i am a writer - a writer of fictions
Revelation: For the first time in years, I don't have a standard-sized spiral notebook in my possession. I feel...bereft.
0 CoMmEnTs
Revelation: For the first time in years, I don't have a standard-sized spiral notebook in my possession. I feel...bereft.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Welcome Back to:
Highly-Caffeinated Clare!
I am only on my second cup of coffee, but already I'm buzzing big time. It never ceases to amaze me just how much I can get done while high on caffeine. Only problem with this is that I get a lot done very quickly and then am searching for other things to do. *sigh*
My day off yesterday was a good one. I got up around 9am and then went shopping since there was no food in the fridge for breakfast. I ended up spending almost $100 - eeks! Of course, I bought a hooded sweatshirt for $30 and a carton of smokes is $27, so that makes me feel a bit better. Every time I go shopping while I am hungry, I always buy so much more. I actually filled my hand-basket to over flowing and then had to carry a few items in my free hand.
Do you ever have one of those days where every little thing annoys the piss out of you? Yesterday morning was one of those mornings, so when the check out lady put my things into 4 different bags (thus making me look like some sort of shopping addicted freak), I was a bit miffed and consolidated everything into 2 bags. Once I got back to the room, I unpacked my groceries and had just finished heating up a breakfast sandwich when the fire alarm went off. Do you ever wonder why they have to be ear-shatteringly loud? I mean, the alarms could be half as loud as they are and people would still be jarred in to action....So had to wait about 10 minutes for the fire department to show up before going safely back into the room. I was like a cat with that noise - I was doing everything in my power to get away from it. After finishing breakfast, I was so exhausted from the alarm-induced panic that I decided to take a nap, which didn't last long because I was awoken by loud knocking on my door. At first, I was going to ignore it, but they kept knocking so I had to put some pants on (*grin*) and answer the door. Turns out they had to install a second smoke detector in the room. Apparently, one is not good enough for a room that is 10 square feet. *rolls eyes* After all that, I actually was feeling in a much better mood and proceeded to do my usual Sunday routine of cleaning up my area and sweeping and mopping the floor. The rest of the day was good. Oooh! And I learned how to play cribbage and almost skunked the other two players! Fun times....
I also had a really strange dream that I was pregnant by two different guys a month apart. So I was both 5- and 6-months pregnant. It was very strange and painful. For some reason, because I was pregnant, I had to go back to high school. Seeing as I was 28 though, I could smoke during breaks and I really just did whatever I wanted. I vividly remember being older than one of the teachers. I wonder if I will ever graduate from dream high school?
Well, I guess that is as much rambling as I can really do at the moment, seeing as I have run out of subjects. Oh pooh...
Hope all are well!
1 CoMmEnTs
Highly-Caffeinated Clare!
I am only on my second cup of coffee, but already I'm buzzing big time. It never ceases to amaze me just how much I can get done while high on caffeine. Only problem with this is that I get a lot done very quickly and then am searching for other things to do. *sigh*
My day off yesterday was a good one. I got up around 9am and then went shopping since there was no food in the fridge for breakfast. I ended up spending almost $100 - eeks! Of course, I bought a hooded sweatshirt for $30 and a carton of smokes is $27, so that makes me feel a bit better. Every time I go shopping while I am hungry, I always buy so much more. I actually filled my hand-basket to over flowing and then had to carry a few items in my free hand.
Do you ever have one of those days where every little thing annoys the piss out of you? Yesterday morning was one of those mornings, so when the check out lady put my things into 4 different bags (thus making me look like some sort of shopping addicted freak), I was a bit miffed and consolidated everything into 2 bags. Once I got back to the room, I unpacked my groceries and had just finished heating up a breakfast sandwich when the fire alarm went off. Do you ever wonder why they have to be ear-shatteringly loud? I mean, the alarms could be half as loud as they are and people would still be jarred in to action....So had to wait about 10 minutes for the fire department to show up before going safely back into the room. I was like a cat with that noise - I was doing everything in my power to get away from it. After finishing breakfast, I was so exhausted from the alarm-induced panic that I decided to take a nap, which didn't last long because I was awoken by loud knocking on my door. At first, I was going to ignore it, but they kept knocking so I had to put some pants on (*grin*) and answer the door. Turns out they had to install a second smoke detector in the room. Apparently, one is not good enough for a room that is 10 square feet. *rolls eyes* After all that, I actually was feeling in a much better mood and proceeded to do my usual Sunday routine of cleaning up my area and sweeping and mopping the floor. The rest of the day was good. Oooh! And I learned how to play cribbage and almost skunked the other two players! Fun times....
I also had a really strange dream that I was pregnant by two different guys a month apart. So I was both 5- and 6-months pregnant. It was very strange and painful. For some reason, because I was pregnant, I had to go back to high school. Seeing as I was 28 though, I could smoke during breaks and I really just did whatever I wanted. I vividly remember being older than one of the teachers. I wonder if I will ever graduate from dream high school?
Well, I guess that is as much rambling as I can really do at the moment, seeing as I have run out of subjects. Oh pooh...
Hope all are well!
Labels: dreams, highly-caffeinated, random
Friday, October 12, 2007
Welcome to:
Highly-Caffeinated Clare! (like 60 Minutes, only faster)
Hola! So I have had some coffee (<---understatement) today. I am in a pretty good mood because of not only the coffee, but also the fact that a couple days ago I received my box of manga from the book store. I was sent 16 volumes of manga that I am "subscribed" to. In the shipment was vol. 13 of Tramps Like Us (SUPER good!) and another volume of Penguin Revolution (yay!). Also, a new volume of Wallflower, FMA, a couple each of xxxHolic and Tsubasa, the newest Fruits Basket, Devil Does Exist, two volumes of Hana Kimi (yes, somehow she still doesn't know that he knows she's a girl), two volumes of Neck and Neck, and for some reason volume 25 of Dragon Knights (I didn't even know this series existed). I will have to send it back to them for store credit.
During my caffeinated time today I have also discovered that how many cigarettes I smoke is correlated to my caffeine intake. Note the graph below:
Also, I have not yet received the camera supplies I ordered. I am getting a bit antsy because my day off is coming up and I have a few new ideas for pictures. I am so excited! What I'm really excited for is the cooler days that should be coming up in November. Right now it is still in the 100s every day and we've only seen clouds a couple of times. I wonder what winter will be like?
I ordered some DVDs from Amazon today. I ordered "*batteries not included" and a 5-DVD set of Rogers & Hammerstein musicals. The musical set is kind of on the spendy side ($70), but it qualifies for super saver shipping and I know I will watch these DVDs time and time again - they are perfect for sewing and crafting to! (Listen to me - I'm becoming my mother....)
So that's the report from here. Hope everyone has a good Friday!
2 CoMmEnTs
Highly-Caffeinated Clare! (like 60 Minutes, only faster)
Hola! So I have had some coffee (<---understatement) today. I am in a pretty good mood because of not only the coffee, but also the fact that a couple days ago I received my box of manga from the book store. I was sent 16 volumes of manga that I am "subscribed" to. In the shipment was vol. 13 of Tramps Like Us (SUPER good!) and another volume of Penguin Revolution (yay!). Also, a new volume of Wallflower, FMA, a couple each of xxxHolic and Tsubasa, the newest Fruits Basket, Devil Does Exist, two volumes of Hana Kimi (yes, somehow she still doesn't know that he knows she's a girl), two volumes of Neck and Neck, and for some reason volume 25 of Dragon Knights (I didn't even know this series existed). I will have to send it back to them for store credit.
During my caffeinated time today I have also discovered that how many cigarettes I smoke is correlated to my caffeine intake. Note the graph below:
Also, I have not yet received the camera supplies I ordered. I am getting a bit antsy because my day off is coming up and I have a few new ideas for pictures. I am so excited! What I'm really excited for is the cooler days that should be coming up in November. Right now it is still in the 100s every day and we've only seen clouds a couple of times. I wonder what winter will be like?
I ordered some DVDs from Amazon today. I ordered "*batteries not included" and a 5-DVD set of Rogers & Hammerstein musicals. The musical set is kind of on the spendy side ($70), but it qualifies for super saver shipping and I know I will watch these DVDs time and time again - they are perfect for sewing and crafting to! (Listen to me - I'm becoming my mother....)
So that's the report from here. Hope everyone has a good Friday!
Labels: highly-caffeinated, random
Monday, October 08, 2007
too low to find my way - too high to wonder why
Ugh...*gurgles and then dies* I have the curse of the white dress - only not quite yet. I only have the horrible, horrible pre-ness; cramps are so bad, I am queasy. Guh - If I were back in the states, I would have left work early by now to lay in bed at home with warm, fuzzy pets on my tummy to make me feel better. *wistful sigh*
There is one bright spot today though: I met this guy who has the same last name as me (not that hard to find, really) and he was a total older Draco. *melts from hotness* Too bad he was married. *pout*
I bought some accessories for my dad's camera the other day. I went to a nice little website for a store in Cedar Falls, IA (Porter's Camera). I kind of went a little wild. I bought 15 rolls of various types of film (brands, speeds and color/B&W) that totals 408 exposures; a mid-size, lightweight tripod; a set of 4 close up lenses; a lens cleaning kit; some of that cool light-sensitive paper that you can make designs out of by putting stuff on top of it and then exposing it to the sun and....I think that's it. I kind of splurged, but I don't really have anything else to do here but think about, read about and experiment with photography. Every time I read about photography techniques (especially the older ones), I get really excited and want to buy all the stuff I would need to do it. I think I might have turned into a crazed maniac when it comes to photography. I suppose I have turned my interest to something that is currently more accessible than anime. I hope that once I have access to both, I will still retain my interest in both as well.
1 CoMmEnTs
Ugh...*gurgles and then dies* I have the curse of the white dress - only not quite yet. I only have the horrible, horrible pre-ness; cramps are so bad, I am queasy. Guh - If I were back in the states, I would have left work early by now to lay in bed at home with warm, fuzzy pets on my tummy to make me feel better. *wistful sigh*
There is one bright spot today though: I met this guy who has the same last name as me (not that hard to find, really) and he was a total older Draco. *melts from hotness* Too bad he was married. *pout*
I bought some accessories for my dad's camera the other day. I went to a nice little website for a store in Cedar Falls, IA (Porter's Camera). I kind of went a little wild. I bought 15 rolls of various types of film (brands, speeds and color/B&W) that totals 408 exposures; a mid-size, lightweight tripod; a set of 4 close up lenses; a lens cleaning kit; some of that cool light-sensitive paper that you can make designs out of by putting stuff on top of it and then exposing it to the sun and....I think that's it. I kind of splurged, but I don't really have anything else to do here but think about, read about and experiment with photography. Every time I read about photography techniques (especially the older ones), I get really excited and want to buy all the stuff I would need to do it. I think I might have turned into a crazed maniac when it comes to photography. I suppose I have turned my interest to something that is currently more accessible than anime. I hope that once I have access to both, I will still retain my interest in both as well.
Labels: random
Friday, August 17, 2007
Well, soon I go across "the pond". I'm not exactly looking forward to the flight. I don't like flying. I don't like the thought that I am in a pressurized tube hurtling through the air at high speeds thousands of feet above the safe ground. I also don't like being crammed into such a small space with so many other people for that long. Not to mention the pain that is packing a carry on bag that meets regulations. *sigh* The price to pay for international travel and high adventure I guess.
Can it get any hotter this summer? Maybe I shouldn't ask that, as it IS only the middle of August....Well, not much else to report so I'll sign off here. I will update once I get somwhere with internet again. I'm sure there will be tales of adventure to report at some time. *charming smile*
Labels: random
Monday, August 13, 2007
i would only be a liar if i told you that
So life on the road has been interesting. I was pretty much camping out for 45 days and now I am back to civilization - if you could call it that. I have patchy internet because (I'll be honest) I'm using some unknown persons unsecured wireless internet. Not much to report really, just thought I'd pop my head in to say hi and that I am still alive. Pretty soon I will be far far away in a distant galaxy and also away from free wireless (though slow) internet.
I will try to update this a little later. My ride is here and we are going to the maul.
Later:
7:16pm
Well, I had a good time at the maul, though I do believe I spent way too much mon-ay. I have a solid case of buyer's guilt about now, but I know it'll pass soon. The things I bought were not real needs, but could be justified as close to them, so I am holding tight to the excuses.
Mostly, I bought clothes for hot climates: light weight cottons and linens. I stopped at Barnes and Nobles (can you see where this is going?) and spent almost $100 on books about beginning photography both digital and film. I also spent $50 at the camera store buying film (only 5 rolls of 12 exp) and an X-ray proof fabric bag so that when the film goes through airport security it won't get ruined.
All the camera-related shopping is due to my new interest in photography. My dad is lending me his old Minolta SRT 101 camera for the year and I am super excited. I even bought him a nice Pelican case for it so he doesn't have to worry about it getting damaged in shipping. I still am hoping to get a nice digital camera as well, but after today's spending spree I think I will wait for a bit, but make sure I have one before I go to Japan in 6 months. Huzzah! *is wired just thinking about everything*
2 CoMmEnTs
So life on the road has been interesting. I was pretty much camping out for 45 days and now I am back to civilization - if you could call it that. I have patchy internet because (I'll be honest) I'm using some unknown persons unsecured wireless internet. Not much to report really, just thought I'd pop my head in to say hi and that I am still alive. Pretty soon I will be far far away in a distant galaxy and also away from free wireless (though slow) internet.
I will try to update this a little later. My ride is here and we are going to the maul.
Later:
7:16pm
Well, I had a good time at the maul, though I do believe I spent way too much mon-ay. I have a solid case of buyer's guilt about now, but I know it'll pass soon. The things I bought were not real needs, but could be justified as close to them, so I am holding tight to the excuses.
Mostly, I bought clothes for hot climates: light weight cottons and linens. I stopped at Barnes and Nobles (can you see where this is going?) and spent almost $100 on books about beginning photography both digital and film. I also spent $50 at the camera store buying film (only 5 rolls of 12 exp) and an X-ray proof fabric bag so that when the film goes through airport security it won't get ruined.
All the camera-related shopping is due to my new interest in photography. My dad is lending me his old Minolta SRT 101 camera for the year and I am super excited. I even bought him a nice Pelican case for it so he doesn't have to worry about it getting damaged in shipping. I still am hoping to get a nice digital camera as well, but after today's spending spree I think I will wait for a bit, but make sure I have one before I go to Japan in 6 months. Huzzah! *is wired just thinking about everything*
Labels: random
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
if you could you would be someone else
I am blogging from my bed. Yes - I am taking my laptop on its maiden voyage to my bedroom. I have sworn off electronics in my bedroom (with the exception of course of a small radio and alarm clock) until now. I am currently listening to Punkrocker ft. Iggy Pop from the Teddybears. It makes me sad and happy and dancy all at the same time.
I am in a sort of melancholy mood tonight because my fate was sealed earlier today. <---drama ;_; I will be leaving on my "tropical vacation" in May. It just seems to be coming up on me way too fast. Then again, the sooner I get to it, the sooner it will all be over and I can come home and be gloriously free. I used to be excited about going, but now I just feel weary and tired thinking about it.
Not much else is going on. Anime Detour is coming up and I am looking forward to going. I will have two new costumes this year, so I won't be wearing my TenTen or Tohru from previous years. I am finished with Pino from Ergo Proxy and am working steadily toward the finish of Kotoko from Chobits.
Guess that's it. Hope every one in blogland is doing well!
0 CoMmEnTs
I am blogging from my bed. Yes - I am taking my laptop on its maiden voyage to my bedroom. I have sworn off electronics in my bedroom (with the exception of course of a small radio and alarm clock) until now. I am currently listening to Punkrocker ft. Iggy Pop from the Teddybears. It makes me sad and happy and dancy all at the same time.
I am in a sort of melancholy mood tonight because my fate was sealed earlier today. <---drama ;_; I will be leaving on my "tropical vacation" in May. It just seems to be coming up on me way too fast. Then again, the sooner I get to it, the sooner it will all be over and I can come home and be gloriously free. I used to be excited about going, but now I just feel weary and tired thinking about it.
Not much else is going on. Anime Detour is coming up and I am looking forward to going. I will have two new costumes this year, so I won't be wearing my TenTen or Tohru from previous years. I am finished with Pino from Ergo Proxy and am working steadily toward the finish of Kotoko from Chobits.
Guess that's it. Hope every one in blogland is doing well!
Labels: meaningless, random