Down the Rabbit Hole with the Semi-Evil Squirrel

one more robot learns to feel*

Ah....today is one of those "f*ck it" days where even the slightest discouragement makes me want to just say "f*ck it". I'm moody and I have a sneaking suspicion as to why. It feels like it wasn't that long ago that I was feeling this same way - it certainly doesn't feel like it has been 3 weeks. Suck. Also put into a bit of an irritable mood by the mere fact that it is Monday and I really don't feel like coming to work anymore. Only 11 work days left after today. Really will only work out to 10 because I'm sure my last day will be nothing but goofing around. Plus, if I am this distracted now, I can only imagine that coming to work will soon only be going through the motions and my mind and everything else will be, well, elsewhere.

In other, lighter news, This weekends Grocery Titan title goes to the SaraLee ovenroasted turkey breast that I bought at the deli counter totaling $4.98 for .57 lbs of goodness. Normally, I would scoff at paying so much for lunch meat, but don't really have sandwiches that often any more and figured it would be ok to splurge here and there. So that was it. If it weren't for that, the Grocery Titan would have been the sandwich bread rounds (8 pack) for $3.00 even.

As per usual, the bananas I bought came in as the Grocery Saver for the week. You just can't beat the nutrition in bananas at 53 cents a pound.

Guess that is about it. I'll quit boring you with the mundane details of my life and let you get on with the week. ;-P

*The Flaming Lips - One More Robot - Sympathy 3000-21

Labels: grocery savers, grocery titans, grumpy, work

i'm not that eager to make a mistake*

Have been going through a lot of stuff that has been either stuffed away in boxes or just laying around for months/years. I've stopped waffling around and decided to get rid of my "Ultimate Workout Log". I bought it in 2007 when I was motivated to actually be on some sort of exercise regimen. Now, I don't need to record my activity in a log because I have a pretty regular schedule that I adhere to because I enjoy it, rather than loathe it. I'm going to get rid of the workout log so I figured that one or two of my coworkers might be interested in having it. I wrote all of my entries in pencil, so they can easily be erased. As I was flipping through it to make sure there weren't any entries made in pen, I came across a note that I had written above the "By the Numbers" fact that was included on the page. The By the Numbers fact is: "50 mph: Top speed of a lion. 32 mph: Top speed of a giraffe. 30 mph: Top speed of a kangaroo. 27.9 mph: Top speed of a human. 25 mph: Top speed of an elephant." Above it, I wrote: "Why not something more important - like the top speed of an angry bear? I'd like to know my chances..." How apt that is, considering I'm moving to an area of Japan that has one of the largest populations of Japanese Brown Bears... Hopefully I will not find out firsthand.

This weekend was an expensive weekend. I went clothes shopping on Saturday with Nailz, so that really made the cost of the weekend go up. I mostly shopped at Marshalls for some business clothes for teaching. I got 6 items (one being a navy blue 2-piece skirt suit) for $113. The suit was the most expensive at $29. Everything else I got for $20 or under. Pretty good considering they are all nice items...

I also got rid of 3 grocery bags packed full of books. I sold some to Barnes & Noble for store credit and scored the new Mark Bittman food/cookbook and a manga. The books that Barnes & Noble didn't take (which was actually most of them...), I took to Half Price Books and got $50 cash. Fun times. I picked up three new CDs: The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, JET - Get Born and one from a group called Hiroshima, album title is "East". The last album was very interesting. It's a group from Japan that mixed Jass, New Age and traditional Japanese sounds in the late 1980s. Very interesting. Something completely different from everything else I have. :)

Sunday, I went shopping at Target for a new purse (the strap on mine was about ready to break - and it did during that shopping trip). While there I picked up a cute, fake-leather tote for work in Japan. It has a spot for my laptop and looks like it will be fairly ideal for taking stuff too and from school in lieu of a briefcase. I also found the best thing since sliced bread. Behold.

If you read the review, it looks like I might need to save my receipt. But the idea of a reversible belt is pretty dang cool. I'm willing to give it a try because if it breaks, I can just take it back to Target.

In other (great) news, I have gotten in contact with my predecessor. She is British and seems absolutely lovely. She has already answered my major questions. Now I just need to pick her brain about the small stuff.

The work day cannot come to a close fast enough. Only a few more minutes, so...

*Bob Dylan - Things Have Changed

Labels: life, shopping, work

don't think me unkind, words are hard to find*

So a couple of completely random things that have one thing in common: they have been both been found after having been lost.


*The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da

Labels: life, random

i don't know what more to ask for - i was given just one wish*

The month of May is coming to an emotionally bombastic conclusion. A lot has been happening. Last week was a super-stressful week at work due to last minute big project changes. I don't remember if I blogged it or not, but on the 14th, I told my boss about my impending move to Japan, so while that released a lot of built-up pressure, it also created a bit of collateral stress in relations with coworkers. All that stress made this past 3-day weekend feel really good. It was amazing how by Sunday night I was feeling something close to human again.

This week has been going quickly, thanks to Monday being a holiday. Yesterday, I received notification of my placement for the JET Program. I will be teaching in a small town called Assabu on the southern peninsula of Hokkaido (the northernmost island). I originally mistook the town to be Asabu, which is an area in Sapporo city (a bustling city of 1.8 million with 3 types of wonderful public transportation). I am still pretty excited, but I think it might take a while to get used to being the only foreigner there.

Because of finding out my placement, I didn't sleep a wink last night. (Did I mention they have one of the largest populations of Ezo Higuma (Japanese brown bears) there? They look a lot like grizzlies...) Tossed and turned all night and really didn't feel like getting up for work today. Got here and there's not much work to be had - yet.

Another happening is that, as of today, I am officially released from the Army. I have completed all 8 years of my contract. As of today, I am once again a civilian with all of the freedoms inherent in that role. I wrote about this event in my personal (aka paper) journal last night before going to bed and I went much more in depth. At this point, I wish I could rhapsodize about my service, but I just don't have the energy or concentration. There is more emotion connected with this ending than I anticipated. I had only anticipated joy at the end of my contract; now, I realize that it really is the end of a personal era and that comes with a mixed bag of emotions.

On a completely different note, this weekend is already jam packed with entertainment. Every once in a while I have one of those weekends where there is no time; the kind where I'll be out doing stuff most of the weekend. The bad thing about that is that I have A LOT of stuff to start doing in preparation for my overseas departure... I really need to get my act together on that one.

Squirrely News of the Odd

*Royksopp - What Else is There?

Labels: JET program, life, work

maybe run from the darkness in the night*

I have been in kind of a funk the last couple of weeks that I just can't seem to get out of. After chatting with Nailz in the kitchen this evening, I realized that it's not anxiety that I'm feeling. I'm feeling restless, yet paralyzed. I know that there is a lot that needs to be done before I move, but it just doesn't really register yet. Instead of sitting myself down to think about what needs to be done when, I just keep distracting myself. If I keep this up, it will eventually catch up to me. I really need to sit still for a couple of hours and work out how and when everything needs to be done. I do feel like I can step forward out of this funk soon, though. Ever notice how sometimes just putting your finger on what's going on can help you to break through?

Anywho - enough seriousness. I would like to announce this week's Grocery Titan as the 4 lb bag of Jasmine Rice coming in at $4.63, just barely ahead of the bottle of pickled ginger at $4.39. The rest of my groceries were pretty reasonable. Of course, I only had 5 things. I felt really confident going to the store that I wasn't forgetting any items on my list. Ah...but of course I did. *laughs at self* I needed to get more coffee beans. Will have to stop tomorrow after work just to make sure I have them.

As a last note, this week's Grocery Saver was the bunch of 5 bananas coming in at a mere $1.20. Yay for bananas!!

Had a good weekend, for the most part. Felt really quite inert, but guess I did get a little bit done. Why does the urge to purge belongings always hit at about 10pm on a work night? Maybe I'll go through just one small box to make myself feel better.

*U2 - Running to Stand Still

Labels: grocery savers, grocery titans, life bitch

i know i'm able to let go of more baggage than i give myself credit for*

1119 hrs:
Having a tough time at work today. Somehow I've managed to keep myself from wanting to strangle people. As of last week, the continual lump in my throat has reappeared. Last week was super-stressful because of the project that I've been assigned to and just now I got a phone call from one of the (many) project managers that are trying to run it. Judging by that phone call, it is looking to be another stressful week. I would like to know what kind of cardinal work sin I've committed in the past that I am being punished for by this project....I'll put it this way: I'm pulling my punches when I say that I hate this project. If I could, I would give this project to my absolute worst enemy. Too bad I don't have one. *sigh* I realize I'm probably being overly dramatic about it, but it really is completely stressful and I feel powerless to even try to deal with it.

So yes. I was kind of hoping to go through one of those blah Mondays where nothing really happens and you just kind of float through. Guess not.

Last night I stayed up way too late. I finished off my latest journal, so I was looking for the next one to use (I have these in full stock) and came across some journals that I had only used a few pages of when I was younger. Of course, this meant that I had to read them. How strange it is to read my journal from 1992 (when I was 13 years old)... Some of the entries are pretty funny. Most of them are horrifyingly embarrassing. The urge to start a bonfire and throw the offending journals in it were strong. Eventually, I put the old journals away to decide about another day and settled on a nice spiral bound journal for the present and wrote a short entry because by then it was after 1am.

Don't know what it is, but something doesn't seem right these last couple of days. (And for some reason, when I think of the uneasy feeling I have, it evokes images of the bathroom sink... *doesn't get it*) I'm really wishing that I could take a day off just to get away from this work project. I'm leaning more and more towards giving notice of my resignation sooner rather than later so that maybe they can actually hire someone. Maybe then the new person can take the last half of this project (which is going to be HUGE and 10X worse than the part we're on now). The number of (frustratingly huge) projects that are getting handed to me makes me think that most likely my manager wouldn't have time to find a way to fire me (out of spite) before I leave and also might actually try to get someone hired for when I'm gone so my cow-orkers don't get tortured with more work... Of course, I haven't completely decided when I want my last day to be. I've been dwelling on June 30th being the last day at work (with a pay end date of July 6th after taking the rest of my vacation), but that would mean I would be without an income for almost all of July and that is when most of the big expenses of this whole move are going to hit. *frets*

What do you guys think? Should I give my notice earlier and hope for the best or do you think 3 weeks (because the last week will be vacation days) will do?

*Ellis - Doin' Fine

Labels: tired, work bitch

if your time to you is worth savin', then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone*

0811 hrs:
I'm allowing a blog post from work today. This work week has been a lot like I've always hoped it wouldn't be. I've never wanted to be the person who works unpaid overtime for a corporation that will never recognize your efforts. I was that person this week and the resulting stress has taken its toll on my complexion. My face looks like a hormonal teenager's. All of this extra work is a result of my manager being unofficially promoted because the company recently re-organized and laid off middle-management. Now my manager has more responsibility and so she is off-loading her work onto all of us. Problem is, the person who should be doing this work should be a manager - not just a business analyst (the lowest rung on the corporate ladder - well, except for maybe the cleaning staff - in terms of decision-making-cred). I feel absolutely that I have just been set up to fail.

I'm trying not to stress too much about it from here on out, because 2 months from now I won't be working here. I think the worst part of it isn't the work, it's the attitude of my manager. She laughs at her staff's stress because now we "know how she feels". Um....yeah. Nailz suggested calling her a stupid cow in my head every time I have to talk to her and so far it has helped a good deal.

Two things are for certain: 1) I am indescribably relieved that it is Friday and 2) I am not answering any work-related calls after I leave the office tonight.

1528 hrs:
Friday can really be the cruelest day of all. The morning did a good job of speeding by - this afternoon...Not so much. *droops*

Because my boss has been out of the office since Tuesday (and she won't be back at this location until Wednesday of next week), I have been very relaxed with my office attire. Our location is pretty lax anyway on dress code (i.e. we can wear jeans every day, but a nice top is recommended), but I've taken the effort to make sure to wear a t-shirt with my jeans every day this week. XD It is the most I can do to flip the proverbial "V"s at The Man.

The weather outside has turned partly sunny. From what I can see through the 1 small window in our office and from the reports of the smokers, today is cool, but not cold. Maybe I will go run off this work week when I get home. Sometimes, there is nothing that feels more free than running. It would be grand start to the weekend, me thinks. Considering I've skipped all other physical activities this week due to either work or laziness, I think it would do me some good to get out.

Was thinking on my drive to work this morning about trees. Of course, I think about trees a lot. I don't think there is a day that has gone by in the past 6 months that I haven't thought about them. This led me to think about maybe checking out a job in forestry. I think it is a pretty stable field and one in which I think I could really feel at home. Working with trees and forests would also mean working around birds and other wildlife. That would be pretty kick ass. I don't know much about it, so I think that maybe I'll spend some time this weekend looking into it...

Mood: vindicated (some days it's ok to let people blow sunshine up your *beep* )

*Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A Changin'

Labels: career ideas, work, work bitch